A Joke you heard today

[aliwakeskate]

What did you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?

A stick

Funny thing is, I've forgotten how to throw a boomerang. I'm sure it'll come back to me.

[Morph]

The wife and I went to a bank robbers-themed fancy dress party last night.
Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running...

[zimtim]

Why does the Easter bunny hide Easter eggs,????

Because they don't want any evidence being found of them shagging chickens.


Well wouldn't you.

[zimtim]

One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small Union Jacks were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Little Johnny.”
“Good morning, Father,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
“Father Scott, what is this?” Little Johnny asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?”

[zimtim]

If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer wh...o responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line

[gbags]

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[Crossrutted]

59711D94-7286-4D0C-848C-792DCF63B20E.jpeg

Thank you for posting - you've made an old man happy

[diggermanbob]

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Thank you for posting - you've made an old man happy

Two old men very happy

[DaveCon]

59711D94-7286-4D0C-848C-792DCF63B20E.jpeg

Thank you for posting - you've made an old man happy

Two old men very happy

And one happy man very old

[daveuprite]

59711D94-7286-4D0C-848C-792DCF63B20E.jpeg

Thank you for posting - you've made an old man happy

Two old men very happy

And one happy man very old

...or blind