What do an Eagle and a Mole have in common?
They both live underground.
Apart from the Eagle.
Shoplifting wife
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Re: Shoplifting wife
Can you name an Indian tribe which scalps people?
Not off the top of my head
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it
Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?
I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".
with thanks to Tim Vine (who else) :silly:
Not off the top of my head
I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it
Exit signs - they're on the way out aren't they?
I went down the local supermarket, I said "I want to make a complaint, this vinegar's got lumps in it", he said "Those are pickled onions".
with thanks to Tim Vine (who else) :silly:
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Re: Shoplifting wife
I went to the doctors the other day, because I think I'm going deaf.
"What are the symptoms?" the doctor asked.
"That yellow cartoon family on the TV" I replied.
That one cracks me up
"What are the symptoms?" the doctor asked.
"That yellow cartoon family on the TV" I replied.
That one cracks me up
The lightest piece of kit is the one you leave behind...
Re: Shoplifting wife
A Neutron walks into a pub and says "Can I have a beer, please"
After getting his drink, he says "How much is that, please"
"For you" says the barman "No charge"
groan.
After getting his drink, he says "How much is that, please"
"For you" says the barman "No charge"
groan.
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Re: Shoplifting wife
Ahh an excuse for some physics jokes.
Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
Bartender goes, "Hey, what's the rush?"
Tachyon walks into a bar and says "Gimme a beer, now!"
.... Ok I'll get my coat.
Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely positive."
Bartender goes, "Hey, what's the rush?"
Tachyon walks into a bar and says "Gimme a beer, now!"
.... Ok I'll get my coat.
I went to the Caribbean on holiday with my wife last year.
Jamaica?
No, she wanted to.
Jamaica?
No, she wanted to.
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Re: Shoplifting wife
Love it!Mul001 wrote:A Neutron walks into a pub and says "Can I have a beer, please"
After getting his drink, he says "How much is that, please"
"For you" says the barman "No charge"
groan.
This is an old one but a good one:
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
*tumbleweeds*
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Re: Shoplifting wife
My wife says she's leaving me because of my obsession with the Monkees.
I thought she was joking
But then I saw her face......
I thought she was joking
But then I saw her face......
The lightest piece of kit is the one you leave behind...