Shoplifting wife

[herman]

Judging by the above I don't know if I'd bother mate. :dry: P.S. hows the back?

[mark1150]

The doctors in Seychelles said that the guy who was eaten by a shark never suffered too much,








as he was only married for 11 days.

[mark1150]

Judging by the above I don't know if I'd bother mate. :dry: P.S. hows the back?

Torture at the moment, left arm screwed fingers x'd it'll get better soon.

[zimtim]

Sorry not mine from the Fringe
1. Nick Helm – “I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves.”
2. Tim Vine – “Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”
3. Hannibal Buress – “People say ‘I'm taking it one day at a time.’ You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works.”
4. Tim Key – “Drive Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought ... once you've hired the car ...”
5. Matt Kirshen – “I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess.”
6. Sarah Millican – “My mother told me, you don’t have to put anything in your mouth you don’t want to. Then she made me eat broccoli, which felt like double standards.”
7. Alan Sharp – “I was in a band which we called The Prevention, because we hoped people would say we were better than The Cure.”
8. Mark Watson – “Someone asked me recently – what would I rather give up, food or sex. Neither! I’m not falling for that one again, wife.”
9. Andrew Lawrence – “I admire these phone hackers. I think they have a lot of patience. I can’t even be bothered to check my OWN voicemails.”
10. DeAnne Smith – “My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin.”

[Morph]

The Wife came out of the bathroom after her shower, stark naked and walked into the bedroom. She said to me "babe, shut the curtains I don't want the neighbours to see me naked".

"Don't worry" I replied, "If the neighbours see you naked they will pull their own bloody curtains!!".

[moto al]

velcro it,s a rip off ?

[Morph]

I have just bought a new wide angle lens for the camera, I not sure if its any good but I am going to see how it pans out.

[mark1150]

I'm watching the Liverpool version of the Silince of the Lambs tonight; it's called Shuttup Ewes.

They are making a new film about Howard Shipman starring Robert DeNero as the Old Dear Hunter.

[herman]

You know what,when I get home tonight I am gonna rip my wife's nickers straight off...........They don't half cut into the top of my legs. :dry:

[GUNDOG]

I know where Gaddaffi is hidding....

He's on the Disney Channel..
































oh no, thats Gaddaffi Duck.....