joke

[jkclive1971]

Couple driving home run over a badger ,they get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. Husband says"Put it between your legs to warm it up ", Wife replies
But its all wet and it stinks , He says "well hold the badgers fucking nose then!

[ipswichbiker]

Hehe...

Whats the difference between a nun and a woman in the bath...?

[mark1150]

My wife has been missing for 3 days now.
Last night I had the Police around the house , and they told me to prepare for the worst.
So I've spent most of today going around the charity shops trying to get her clothes back.

[Mark1961]

My wife has been missing for 3 days now.
Last night I had the Police around the house , and they told me to prepare for the worst.
So I've spent most of today going around the charity shops trying to get her clothes back.

Being married to the same woman for 30 years you can see why I found this funny.

[Adrian]

a cheap chuckle :laugh:

[CRAIGREVO]

A farmers wife is driving down the lane toward the farm, when she hits a pig. Distraught, she phones the farmer.

wife: I've just hit a pig in the lane.

Farmer: Is it dead?

Wife: yes!

Farmer: Just drag it to the side of the lane, and I'll pick it up later.

Wife: Its leg is trapped.

Farmer: Well there is a saw in the back of the car, use that to chop off the leg.

Wife: OK I've done that. Now what should I do with his motorbike?

[mark1150]

Bloke takes his wife into the Doctors and say's " I don't know if the wife has Aids or Alzheimer's, what do I do?"
Doctor thinks for a minute, and replies " Well Mr Jackson, you should take her for a drive in your car, and drop her off about 5 miles from home, if she comes back don't f*ck her!!"

[900Fantrider]

Couple driving home run over a badger ,they get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold. Husband says"Put it between your legs to warm it up ", Wife replies
But its all wet and it stinks , He says "well hold the badgers fucking nose then!

I think ive just cracked a rib!!

[strimstrum]

A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?"

After quickly downing his drink, the man replied "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend."

"Wow" exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple, "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house."

As the man downed his second triple scotch, the bartender asked him "What did you do?"

"I walked over to my wife" the man replied, "looked her straight in the eye and told her that we were through and to pack her stuff and to get the hell out."

"That makes sense" said the bartender, "but what about your best friend?"


The man replied, "I walked over to him, looked him right in the eye and said




'bad dog!'"

[mark1150]

It looks like I've really pissed my wife off again.
I tried that erotic asphyxiation on her when we were having sex,
She's been lying in the bed for five days now, giving me the silent treatment!