Groan

Anything goes, and mine's a Guinness.
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SHarper
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Re: Groan

Post by SHarper » Thu Mar 19, 2020 10:59 am

“THE END OF THE WORLD IS NIGH!” shouted the man on the tractor as he went down the lane.

I think it was Farmer Geddon.

Adventure Bike Rider New Issue Out Now
bill_qaz
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Re: Groan

Post by bill_qaz » Thu Mar 19, 2020 11:08 am

Doctor can you help me. I woke up Monday feeling like a marquee, then on Wednesday I felt like a teepee .
Doctor says I will give you something to relax you as you are too tense :roll:

Flipflop
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Re: Groan

Post by Flipflop » Thu Mar 19, 2020 2:41 pm

A penguin is riding his bike one day when he notices it's leaking oil all over the road. Fortunately, it happened near a bike shop. He dropped it off at the shop, and the mechanic said it should take a few hours.

The penguin decided to go for lunch. He stopped at a diner and ordered a tuna sandwich, with extra mayo.

After a few hours he wandered back to the shop. He went inside and approached the mechanic who said- Well, it looks like you blew a seal.

The penguin stopped, thought for a minute, wiped his beak with his wing and said- Oh no, that's just mayonnaise.

dave h
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Re: Groan

Post by dave h » Thu Mar 19, 2020 9:25 pm

my wife told me i had to get out of the house for doing bad impressions of the terminator,

i'm not worried i'll be returning.

daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite » Fri Mar 20, 2020 9:36 am

I just found out that I'm colour blind.

The news came completely out of the green.

OnHellas
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Re: Groan

Post by OnHellas » Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:49 am

Why did the orange stop rolling?

It ran out of juice.


That was the first joke that I heard and remembered.

OnHellas
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Re: Groan

Post by OnHellas » Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:50 am

What does Mr Kipling do at night?

Fills his tarts with cream!

daveuprite
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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite » Fri Mar 20, 2020 3:23 pm

OnHellas wrote:
Fri Mar 20, 2020 10:50 am
What does Mr Kipling do at night?

Fills his tarts with cream!
Fnaa fnaa. Sidney James would have been proud of that one :D

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Re: Groan

Post by daveuprite » Wed Mar 25, 2020 6:11 pm

Prince Charles is in isolation at Balmoral with Covid 19

Prince Andrew is in isolation at Windsor with Jennifer, 14

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Monster
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Re: Groan

Post by Monster » Fri Apr 03, 2020 3:49 pm

My friend loves trivia and thinks that he is very clever

You can just hear him ... Did you know that the onion is the only food that can make you cry

So I threw a coconut at his face to prove him wrong
If a Hammer don't fix it - you have an electrical problem

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