Groan

[bill_qaz]

Local cabinet maker died by drinking french polish
His family were devastated
But he had a lovely finish

[bill_qaz]

Where would you find a dog with no legs?

Wherever you left it

Doctor I keep having dreams about finding dead people and trying to find out why they died.

Doctor says you have coroner virus

[MotoCP]

A bloke walked into a doctors office with a frog growing on his neck.

The doctor took a closer look and said;

“I’ve never seen anything like that before.
Can you tell me how it started?”

The frog said “As a boil on my arse”

[soho]

Two monkey's having a bath, first one gets in and says .... Ooh,Ooh,Ooh !
The other one says....well put some fu*king cold in then !

I hate those Russian dolls.......So full of themselves.

Do Elephants drink to forget ?

[qcnr]

What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk...

[dave h]

(in light of the new government guidelines)

A man doesn't walk into a bar......

[daveuprite]

I've bought a new vacuum cleaner.

The old one's just been gathering dust...

[daveuprite]

Sharon was feeling horny and looked forward to seeing her new chef boyfriend again.

She liked his beef in horseradish, but much preferred his pork in cider...

[gbags]

I’m unusually hard, for a middle class man.
Al dente, you might say.

[gbags]

What do you call a man wearing brown, paper trousers?

Russell.