My sister and brother in law are lawyers, how about these:
If it wasn't for lawyers, we wouldn't need them!
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Old lawyers never die, they just lose thier appeal!
What happens when a lawyer takes viagra? He gets taller.
Shoplifting wife
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Barcelona Pat
- Posts: 1174
- Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 9:06 am
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Re: Shoplifting wife
A young woman goes to see her doctor about the green rings that have mysteriously appeared on the insides of her thighs.
The doctor takes a look, and the woman says.. " Well doctor what do you think?"
The doctor says.. "Tell your boyfriend, that his earrings aren't gold!"
The doctor takes a look, and the woman says.. " Well doctor what do you think?"
The doctor says.. "Tell your boyfriend, that his earrings aren't gold!"
The end of the road is the start of the fun
A bad day on the bike is still better than a good day at the office
DRZ 400
XR 400 R
A bad day on the bike is still better than a good day at the office
DRZ 400
XR 400 R
Re: Shoplifting wife
Bet you £50 you can't reach the really good venison on the top shelf.moto al wrote:asda are selling venison £10.50 lb is that not to deer?
....or are the stakes too high? :laugh:
(That worked when I said it out loud
)"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly, "one must have sunshine, freedom, and a little flower." - Hans Christian Andersen
When a man is tired of motorcycling, he is tired of life
When a man is tired of motorcycling, he is tired of life
Re: Shoplifting wife
The story of the Logical Scientist and the goldfish
Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a
table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer andsits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example .... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Pat: - Er ... mmm ....... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Pat: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you
have a large garden then you have a large house?
Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ....... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical
to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
quite probably married? And with a family?
Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?
Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?
Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Pat: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!
Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Seamus: - What's that then?
Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Seamus: - Nope
Pat: - Well then, you're a wanker
Two Irish builders (Patrick and Seamus) are seated either side of a
table in a pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer andsits on a stool at the bar.
The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
Pat: - I reckon he's an accountant.
Seamus: - No way - he's a stockbroker.
Pat: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!
The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer
gets the better of Pat and he makes for the toilet.
On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal.
Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.
Pat: - 'Scuse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were
wondering what you do for a living?
Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession
Pat: - Oh? What's that then?
Suit: - I'll try to explain by example .... Do you have a goldfish at home?
Pat: - Er ... mmm ....... well yeah, I do as it happens!
Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a
pond. Which is it?
Pat: - It's in a pond!
Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?
Pat: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.
Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you
have a large garden then you have a large house?
Pat: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ....... built it myself!
Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical
to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are
quite probably married? And with a family?
Pat: - Yes I am married, I live with my wife and four children.
Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active
with your wife on a regular basis?
Pat: - Yep! Five times a week!
Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?
Pat: - Do what? Not me, mate!
Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!
Pat: - How's that then?
Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you
about your sex life!
Pat: - I see! That's pretty impressive.. Thanks mate!
Both leave the toilet and Pat returns to his mate.
Seamus: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?
Pat: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!
Seamus: - What's that then?
Pat: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?
Seamus: - Nope
Pat: - Well then, you're a wanker
The end of the road is the start of the fun
A bad day on the bike is still better than a good day at the office
DRZ 400
XR 400 R
A bad day on the bike is still better than a good day at the office
DRZ 400
XR 400 R
Re: Shoplifting wife
How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they don't get the house
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two apples and a goldfish.
None, they don't get the house
How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Two apples and a goldfish.
Finally back on a GS 
-
OB1
- Posts: 2770
- Joined: Mon Jan 10, 2011 11:37 am
- Location: Ipswich, Suffolk
- Has thanked: 746 times
- Been thanked: 342 times
Re: Shoplifting wife
Two goldfish in a tank.
One turns to the other and says, "How do you drive this thing, then?" :woohoo:
One turns to the other and says, "How do you drive this thing, then?" :woohoo:
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justrtw.com
justrtw.com
Re: Re: Shoplifting wife
No eye deermoto al wrote:asda are selling venison £10.50 lb is that not to deer?
BBRR - Big Bike Rough Road Riders Group
It's all about how big it is and how Rough you use it
Whatever you do on your path, do it mindfully.
Re: Re: Shoplifting wife
Dear deer :pinch:Snowdog wrote:No eye deermoto al wrote:asda are selling venison £10.50 lb is that not to deer?
If you have eaten your breakfast, clean your bowl.
