Funny thing is, I've forgotten how to throw a boomerang. I'm sure it'll come back to me.
A Joke you heard today
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Re: A Joke you heard today
Funny thing is, I've forgotten how to throw a boomerang. I'm sure it'll come back to me.
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Re: A Joke you heard today
The wife and I went to a bank robbers-themed fancy dress party last night.
Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running...
Well I did. She stayed in the car, keeping the engine running...
The lightest piece of kit is the one you leave behind...
Re: A Joke you heard today
Why does the Easter bunny hide Easter eggs,????
Because they don't want any evidence being found of them shagging chickens.
Well wouldn't you.
Because they don't want any evidence being found of them shagging chickens.
Well wouldn't you.
Re: A Joke you heard today
One Sunday morning, the priest noticed Little Johnny was staring up at the large plaque that hung in the foyer of the church. It was covered with names, and small Union Jacks were mounted on either side of it.
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Little Johnny.”
“Good morning, Father,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
“Father Scott, what is this?” Little Johnny asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?”
The seven-year old had been staring at the plaque for some time, so the priest walked up, stood beside the boy, and said quietly, “Good morning, Little Johnny.”
“Good morning, Father,” replied the young man, still focused on the plaque.
“Father Scott, what is this?” Little Johnny asked.
“Well, son, it’s a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service.”
Soberly, they stood together, staring at the large plaque.
Little Johnny’s voice was barely audible when he asked, “Which service, the 9:45 or the 11:15?”
Re: A Joke you heard today
If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defence attorney during a trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility .....
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer wh...o responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line
Q: 'Officer --- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No, sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer, who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer wh...o responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes, sir, I do.'
Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes, sir.'
Q: 'Now, why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'
The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line
- gbags
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Re: A Joke you heard today
Two old men very happy
Re: A Joke you heard today
And one happy man very olddiggermanbob wrote: ↑Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:54 pmTwo old men very happy
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Re: A Joke you heard today
...or blindDaveCon wrote: ↑Tue Apr 10, 2018 3:22 pmAnd one happy man very olddiggermanbob wrote: ↑Tue Apr 10, 2018 2:54 pmTwo old men very happy