Analogue Africa - Top to bottom just before the Internet

[richeyroo]

But needing to liven things up for our future readership we desperately needed an anecdote and fortunately we got one in remote Benin.

We were stopped by policemen at a remote point on a dirt road who demanded to see all our documentation. So far, so routine. Our names and details went down in the book and we got the pleasure of having to write something under the "Tribe" heading. It was always good to see the nonsense that travellers had written during the previous weeks and months. Scouse, and Jedi got regular mentions as did all sorts of antipodean nonsense. So far, so routine.

But it was one of those uncomfortable settings that just didn't feel right. Lots of policeman and soldiers lazing around in plastic chairs, with rifles not too far away from them and the glazed look of boredom and intoxication in the eyes of these poor guys who were obviously paid little and infrequently.

After some time, one of them demanded to search our panniers and tank bag. Good luck mate, it's all pretty disgusting in there. Fill your boots. After a while he found our multi vitamin tablets which are obviously vital when you have cocopops for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

In French he asked what they were. In my very best French I explained that they were medicine that we needed to take when it was not possible to eat good food. Probably not a great idea in retrospect. A broad smile came over his face and he announced that the tablets would be good for him and he walked off back towards his mates, somewhat triumphantly.

Hey ho, thought I. Of all the things a bored, AK47 wielding, poverty stricken, absolutely wasted Benin soldier in a remote middle of nowhere could have done to us, nicking our multi vitamin tablets was something I thought we could just take on the chin.

I looked somewhat glummly at Tracy who obviously thought differently. Oh shit.

She marched off in the soldiers direction and grabbing him strongly by the arm, spun him round towards her, snatched back the multi vitamins and said, very confidently, "these are ours".

I absolutely crapped myself. Like never before. I couldn't believe what I was seeing and thought a remote corner of Benin was about to become forever a part of England as we rested in an unmarked shallow grave whilst drugged up Benin soldiers rode round on an XTZ750 fuelled only by our multi vitamin tablets.

A horribly long one or two seconds passed.

And then his mates, sat watching this whole charade from the plastic chairs started to roar with laughter at his humilation as this young lady physically overpowered him and robbed our tablets back.

By Christ we got out of there quickly before they changed their minds.

It was a sign of things to come though. Ivory Coast, Ghana and Togo had once again lulled us into a false sense of security, but Eastern Benin was anything but benign. And we knew Nigeria would be bonkers too so things were starting to look up, once more

[boatman]

Still here (thumbs) ,,,,, enjoying your RR, you DO have a nice narrative manner (thumbs)

[herman]

Thank you, I've been saving the reading of this and have caught up now.

[jkay]

Great Rr as said before,the which tribe bit was great and when I was"arrested"near Maun I put viking in the tribe bit

[hornet]

Another avid reader still with you Richie.

Thanks dude

[crofty]

+1 still hanging on your every word (thumbs)

[richeyroo]

Thank you all. It is much appreciated. Sorry that this little period was so devoid of excitement. It apears as if we just trundled around quite happily and maybe that's no bad thing.
But I do feel as if we should have danced naked around a fire during a voodoo ceremony when at least one of us was sacrificed. Maybe next time.
As for this trip, Nigeria comes next. It's a shame this trip was pre Internet. We could have sent you all spam emails offering you a mysteriously large inheritance if you could just provide your bank account details

[Simon_100]

Thank you all. It is much appreciated. Sorry that this little period was so devoid of excitement. It apears as if we just trundled around quite happily and maybe that's no bad thing.
But I do feel as if we should have danced naked around a fire during a voodoo ceremony when at least one of us was sacrificed. Maybe next time.
As for this trip, Nigeria comes next. It's a shame this trip was pre Internet. We could have sent you all spam emails offering you a mysteriously large inheritance if you could just provide your bank account details

No worries, just make up for lost time and head to south-east Asia and send me hundreds of hot Asian babes. You might have to use a local 'alias' though for the sake of authenticity, in honour of Chinese New Year today I looked that up for you, "理查德", pronounced Lĭchádé, apparently - try saying it out loud, it's cool ... :whistle:

Regs

Simon

[gbags]

Come on Rich,

I can't hold my breath much longer.

[richeyroo]

Sorry sorry sorry.

Life is getting in the way - more soon I promise