I went to the zoo the other day, but all they had was a small dog. It was a shih tzu.



But, what they did have was a baguette in a cage. I asked the keeper about it and he said it was bred in captivity...

phil_h wrote: ↑

Mon Apr 06, 2020 12:04 pm

Doctor doctor, I've got a terrible craving for CoffeeMate.
Ah, you've got the Creamer Virus.

Excellent! That definitely belongs in 'Groan'

Feeling enormously better today. Slept like a particularly fluffy log wrapped in cotton wool perched on a cloud, last night - which was very welcome. Dreamed about greenlaning and Glastonbury, rather than giant pangollins with bat-wings - which again was nice. Cough at least 75% better, aching gone,...

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: 1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: 2.50 HAND JOB: 10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes who are serving drinks. "Can I help you?" she asks. "I was wondering," whispers the m...

When you're off road in mud, ruts, gravel, rocks, sand etc, nobody ever said "How I wish I had a bigger, heavier bike"

Paul - you missed an opportunity there. I was just about to post this:

Hello everyone. My name is Bartek. Living in London (not far from Ace Cafe). Riding CB1300. Don't drive so motorcycle is my mine commute source and my stress relief when leisure ride[emoji3526] And I love using it for travel too. Hoping to explore Europe when the recent crisis finish. But been so f...

Link: obvious I think...

Keep on getting better, are they testing you in France? Well we haven't really 'declared' ourselves. We just phoned the number and listened to a recorded message with advice etc. So we haven't asked for a test. I wouldn't want to right now anyway. Best to ration the testing kits to the frontline wo...

Haven't heard much from Garyboy lately. Does anyone know if he's OK?

I mean he's probably fine. Maybe he's busy burning down mobile phone masts or something. But it would be good to know he's alright.